Personal motivation

For me, blindness is a gradual process, not a state of being. I lose my vision in almost imperceptible increments. I started losing my vision at about 14. Back then, I could shoot a target with a .22 from 100 ft with accuracy and consistency. I could name and show you most constellations in the night sky, and make out distant bouys at sea. By the time I was 16 I could still see well enough to pass the driver's test. I drove for 8 years.

I spent some time ignoring what was happening to me - because I could. As time went by the symptoms of macular degeneration made ignoring the problem impossible. I had to look for new ways of doing. What is the alternative - doing nothing at all? Whenever faced with an obstacle, I have to find a way through, over, or around it, or turn back and avoid that place from then on. It is a process that brought me to Montgomery County to live and raise a family.

I have to plan my excursions into the world. I have to map things out and consider things like weather, or traffic patterns. I have to know where the obstrustions are. I have to understand the signals, and listen to what's going on. I still have vision, but I can't see the pedestrian signals at many crosswalks - so I listen for the traffic and watch the vehicles.

Next year my daughter will go to college. In just a few short months my kids will be gone for weeks at a time. I have really come to depend on them over the years. With no car, we all learned how to survive - even thrive. They leaned how to take care of themselves on these streets, and how to take care of me. Now I need to learn how to take care of myself, again.

My son still says "white" when the light turns, even when I am not there. I expect my daughter will say "Go" or something like that forever, too. But when they are gone, I will miss hearing that from them, and I am wondering how I am going to make it alone. It is not just a matter of missing my children, it is a very real matter of not being able to navigate safely through my own home town without help. It is a real psychological barrier to participation in public life.

I can already sense the isolation lurking just past graduation. I am going to have to face some fears, again. Part of facing fear is addressing the source. Unfortunately, the source for this fear is Montgomery County government. There are importan things the Montgomery County government can and should be doing to make their right-of-way accessible to everyone. They are not doing most of them.

Until that is resolved, it really doesn't matter what I complain about.